And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free...

The truth is found in the Light of God's love and who HE is, nothing else. These past few months have been extremely emotional and a time that God has used to reveal more of Himself to me. Actually, this whole year has been a growth filled one. In June, when everything happened, I desired for people (God's people) to reach out and love us thru everything. Some did, more didn't. I have thought back about how everything played out those first few weeks. The shock, the pain, the regret, and even the growth that came from it all. I have thought about how I might blog about the untruths that were spoken and the additional pain that came from those, or the people that I thought would show up in a big way, but didn't. God has moved my heart beyond all of that. I can not focus on the past and the things that I wish I could have changed. Or even on the future as we are not promised tomorrow. I must focus on today, right now, the moment in time God has given me. I have come to realize that there are no perfect people out there...only people pretending to be. NO ONE has it all figured out...no one I know walks on water. When we pretend to be perfect, we only hurt ourselves and others. We rob God of the opportunity to use our hurt and pain to strengthen others. This was a moment in time that God used to strengthen us. We were strengthen by the unexpected people who walked with us closely and we were strengthened by the ones who wanted to hurt us the most. God showed us that we MUST stand firm in HIM and no one else. He is our strength, our refuge. We are not perfect people, but are made perfect by our creator. We believe and have more compassion for others now as we think on Jesus' words "You who are without sin, cast the first stone." Is anyone without sin? God has given us a new lens to see thru, and we are thankful for that. We know that it is only by His unchanging grace that we breathe.
The break from ministry has been a blessing for our family. We have three small children and this has allowed us to focus on planting His love and grace in them. We have been able to worship together, Steve and I. Arm in arm, hand in hand. We still feel called by God to serve and fulfill His great commission. We will continue to seek the ways in which He would have us do that. We feel more balanced in our time at church, with the girls, and with each other. We have set healthy boundaries for when, how much, and how often we will sign up for stuff. We don't want to be so busy that we miss out on life. When we go back into full time ministry, we are thankful that we have walked more with our fellow believers side by side and struggled with them thru lifes trials...it has all made us less plastic and more real to be used and truly understand. We thank God for that.
These past two weeks have been extra hard for me, personally. I have fought in my mind for years the possibilities of the inevitable. My great grandma was put into the nursing home. Her Alzheimer's has gotten worse. Deedee has always been a big part of my life. She isn't perfect, again who is? She has loved and checked in on me my whole life. I hurt for her as she is in a new place with no one she really knows. I actually sympathize with her on that one. I hurt for my great grandpa who is without her for the first time in 73 years. They have been married for so long that I worry how they will survive without each other. I am thankful that she has God's word and truth and reads it. I am thankful that she was put there out of love and concern. I am thankful that I know she knows I love her and that she knows who I am (as of now.)
Today marks 12 years since I lost my mother to a car accident. Sometimes it feels like a tiny moment in time, sometimes it feels like forever, sometimes it feels like yesterday. I miss her and I think about her and wonder if she would have been head over heels in love with my little princess's? With that being said, I will leave you with this...forgive mistakes, embrace those you love and put your faith in Christ alone...people will let you down. Live for today and like there is no tomorrow. Stop trying to be everything to all people and to be perfect...it isn't possible. Love people thru the good and bad. Stand up for what is right, no matter the cost. Pray for the people who don't like you, it will change your heart for them. And remember the bad times are only a moment in time, they do not define your future. And as a friend told me...let this make you better, not bitter.