Christmas fun!

I thought that I would post a few picts of the girls opening their Christmas presents and another video of Maci's big accomplishments!

New Maci video!!!

Ladies and Gentalmen, you are about to witness the next "So you think you can Dance" contestant

The proposal

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I am one proud Mommy!

These past few weeks have FLOWN by! Maci has been in therapy for the past month or so and has really made some great progress! I thought it might be fun to add some video's of her on here so you can see and enjoy her progress too!

This one is from Aug and shows her scooting.

This one is from early October and she had just learned to push to a sitting position.

Maci tempting a crawl...so cute! This was towards the end of Oct.

This is one from last week...she just learned to go from a sitting down position to a standing up...this is an exercise to strengthen her leg muscles.

Here she is tonight...pulling up into a stand...so sweet!

And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free...

The truth is found in the Light of God's love and who HE is, nothing else. These past few months have been extremely emotional and a time that God has used to reveal more of Himself to me. Actually, this whole year has been a growth filled one. In June, when everything happened, I desired for people (God's people) to reach out and love us thru everything. Some did, more didn't. I have thought back about how everything played out those first few weeks. The shock, the pain, the regret, and even the growth that came from it all. I have thought about how I might blog about the untruths that were spoken and the additional pain that came from those, or the people that I thought would show up in a big way, but didn't. God has moved my heart beyond all of that. I can not focus on the past and the things that I wish I could have changed. Or even on the future as we are not promised tomorrow. I must focus on today, right now, the moment in time God has given me. I have come to realize that there are no perfect people out there...only people pretending to be. NO ONE has it all figured out...no one I know walks on water. When we pretend to be perfect, we only hurt ourselves and others. We rob God of the opportunity to use our hurt and pain to strengthen others. This was a moment in time that God used to strengthen us. We were strengthen by the unexpected people who walked with us closely and we were strengthened by the ones who wanted to hurt us the most. God showed us that we MUST stand firm in HIM and no one else. He is our strength, our refuge. We are not perfect people, but are made perfect by our creator. We believe and have more compassion for others now as we think on Jesus' words "You who are without sin, cast the first stone." Is anyone without sin? God has given us a new lens to see thru, and we are thankful for that. We know that it is only by His unchanging grace that we breathe.
The break from ministry has been a blessing for our family. We have three small children and this has allowed us to focus on planting His love and grace in them. We have been able to worship together, Steve and I. Arm in arm, hand in hand. We still feel called by God to serve and fulfill His great commission. We will continue to seek the ways in which He would have us do that. We feel more balanced in our time at church, with the girls, and with each other. We have set healthy boundaries for when, how much, and how often we will sign up for stuff. We don't want to be so busy that we miss out on life. When we go back into full time ministry, we are thankful that we have walked more with our fellow believers side by side and struggled with them thru lifes trials...it has all made us less plastic and more real to be used and truly understand. We thank God for that.
These past two weeks have been extra hard for me, personally. I have fought in my mind for years the possibilities of the inevitable. My great grandma was put into the nursing home. Her Alzheimer's has gotten worse. Deedee has always been a big part of my life. She isn't perfect, again who is? She has loved and checked in on me my whole life. I hurt for her as she is in a new place with no one she really knows. I actually sympathize with her on that one. I hurt for my great grandpa who is without her for the first time in 73 years. They have been married for so long that I worry how they will survive without each other. I am thankful that she has God's word and truth and reads it. I am thankful that she was put there out of love and concern. I am thankful that I know she knows I love her and that she knows who I am (as of now.)
Today marks 12 years since I lost my mother to a car accident. Sometimes it feels like a tiny moment in time, sometimes it feels like forever, sometimes it feels like yesterday. I miss her and I think about her and wonder if she would have been head over heels in love with my little princess's? With that being said, I will leave you with this...forgive mistakes, embrace those you love and put your faith in Christ alone...people will let you down. Live for today and like there is no tomorrow. Stop trying to be everything to all people and to be perfect...it isn't possible. Love people thru the good and bad. Stand up for what is right, no matter the cost. Pray for the people who don't like you, it will change your heart for them. And remember the bad times are only a moment in time, they do not define your future. And as a friend told me...let this make you better, not bitter.

My little artists

While Chloe was busy making her master piece, so was Emma....enough said!

I am SOOOO Not a fan of Walmart...

Walmart is NOT my favorite store by far, but I forced myself to go this week... I was quickly reminded why I am not a Walmart fan. It was raining, and I had to make a return...I had Maci and Emma and the return to get inside. I had a huge box (a baby walker) in one hand, Maci in the other, and Emma walking beside me...all while trying to manage an umbrella, my purse, and a diaper bag. TWO employees saw me trying to juggle it all and neither offered to help. Once inside the store, I had to stand in line behind 4 others who were waiting for their turn at the customer service desk. Two people were working in Customer Service, while another two were standing around chatting, messing with cell phones, and drinking soda. Anyone want to join me in my ranting about poor customer service at that place? Misery loves company! :o)

Special message for Grandpa!

The old house, the move, and the new...

It was bitter sweet leaving our house in Ballwin. So many great memories there...it's where we brought our girls home from the hospital...the only house they knew! It was where we found many unexpected blessings of friendship and wisdom. It was such a cute cozy little house, perfect for the family that is just starting out. Steve and I bought and moved into that house in March of 2004, found out we were expecting June 2004, had Chloe March 2005, found out we were expecting April 2006, had Emma Jan. 2007, found out we were expecting Nov. 2007, had Maci Aug 2008...and sound our house July 2009. So quickly time flew by... we miss the squeaks in the floor, the large storage area in the basement, but most of the all the friends who visited us when we lived in it!

The move was pretty uneventful...we lost a few things (they got broken) to the trash, overall less then $100 worth, so that was good. We were so blessed to have so much help in loading the truck and also unloading! Friends showed up and surprised us in the sweetest ways...some with parting gifts, some with tear filled eyes...some with enough food to feed a small army for each of us...some with words of wisdom, and some with broken hearts. I have never felt so loved by people who only knew us for a short 5 and a half years. It was humbling and we felt so honored. If you were one of those who helped us out in the last days in MO or in the first days in TX, a million times thank you! You have blessed our family.

The new house is awesome! We love the extra space...the girls love their room and having a big walk in closet! The park and pool are less then a block away and they love to go there! I love the extra space....but extra space means extra cleaning! Main floor laundry is the best part about this house! Those of you in STL with basements know what I am talking about! We have been here a few weeks and have gotten settled into a routine. Chloe goes to Preschool everyday from 12-3. The other two nap during that time...it's my time to get dinner going or do a little cleaning. We aren't eating out anymore, which is a HUGE lifestyle change, but it's so much more cost efficent to make meals and I am learning to just double what I make and freeze one for those days when I don't really want to cook. We go to MOPS every other Friday and are enjoying that. We have found a church that we enjoy and are seeking God's will for where we should serve. Steve has an awesome work schedule: Monday 8-4, Tue-Thurs 8-6, Friday 8-12 and weekends off! We are enjoying getting to know the area and all of thrills of a southern lifestyle! There are about 3 Targets within 8 miles of my house...that's been fun...although I do NOT like that they are giving me headaches about coupons these days! There are a million Walmarts, but as you know, I do NOT like going there and try to avoid it at all costs.

As for how things are for us, emotionally...we miss our friends! My girls miss their playmates and playdates. We all miss Nanny and Pappy. I miss MOPS, Bunco, and my girls Night outs. So many good memories....they aren't in St. Louis...they are in our hearts. Thank you for being used by God to touch our lives. I read this yesterday..."God brings people into your life for a reason, some to strengthen you, some to love you, some to be loved by you, some to teach you patience and forgiveness, some to teach you self control, some to teach you compassion, and some to bring you joy"

New castle for our princesses!

Thought I would at least post a few picts of the new place on here...will actually blog about what is going on in our little family soon! Enjoy the picts!

2009 maci bday

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Moving day is coming!

Steve and I are here in Texas and are getting all of our ducks in a row to gear up for the big move! We have secured our house and are very excited about the subdivision and meeting new friends! I have added a few picts of the house and neighborhood so you can see! My girls are going to LOVE this area!

Friendships

Wow, so many thoughts flood my mind when I think about friendships. From the first friend I can remember to the most recent...all have played a role in helping me discover who I am in Christ today. Some early friendships with Lacy and Krisa have brought back great memories. We were so young and crazy! We had fun and thought that going to Fall's Creek, eating pizza and watching movies was the life! Skating all afternoon, Lacy and I tripped and fell a lot...and laughed thru it all. Krisa and I spent many an afternoon riding the scooter across the highway...and lied to Deedee about it. Shame on us. 14 and no sense in the world. Then there was a crazy road trip when I was 16...not going to talk about that one...just thanking God that He kept Kris and I safe that day! How about the friendship of Charla in college? She was there for me when my mom died and when I almost lost my brother! Then came Rachel, Brandy, Gina, Mic, Fawn, Sylvia...lots of great friendships with godly women! After becoming a newly wed and moving, God led others into friendship with me! Heather was one of the first! What a blessing she is and was at that time in our lives. Jessi was right there with her. That was a laughter filled friendship and still is! Jessi was the first among my peers to get pregnant...and unexpectantly. She fell madly in love with her little man and I grew more and more excited about motherhood in my future. Then there was Kari, Ashley, Beth, and Erica...who were there thru the early days of infertility. Then came Kristy, who walked with me thru a lot of the fertility treatments...and even went with me to a few appointments. We would have stayed in Waco at that church, had Steve not graduated seminary and felt called to full time ministry. That church loved us and still email us often! Next came the move back to Oklahoma. This brought new friendships! Kim and Jennifer. Kim and I still chat...she is so down to earth! Love her! Jennifer was the first gal that I was able to walk with thru infertility. It was bitter sweet leaving that church...we saw it grow from 30 members to over 100. Small Oklahoma church, but God was working there. They have asked us to come back and do a revival for them...it feels good to feel missed and loved so much. So on to Missouri we went! Stephanie was one of the first friends who really reached out to me. Although she was my boss, she was also my friend. Sarah came shortly behind her! Both have been godly friends! And then I became a mommy...and wow that really opened up my circle of friends...I will just name a few here, but all of these gals have really challenged me to be a better wife, mother, and friend. Angela, Loreal, Jamie, Erika, Christie, Michelle, Lisa, Sara, Wendy, Shannon, Julie, Dianna, Sarah, Rhonda, Debbie, Ann, Belinda, Cheryl, Cindy. Some for a season, some truer then true friends. I feel very blessed by the friendships that God has provided me and when he provided those gals in my life, if for a season, I praise Him for that, if forever, I praise Him for that. If you were one of those gals who I have journied with in life, thanks for being a friend. Thanks for being used by God. I'm praising Him for you!

Peach picking!

We thought since we will be in the midst of a big move during apple picking season, that we would pick peaches this year instead. This was so much fun and the girls LOVED being able to pick their own and even try a few. Maci LOVES peaches and enjoyed every minute of slurping all over hers. We hope you enjoy the pictures!

Maci enjoying a peach
Emma with the cutest smile on her face!I LOVE this picture of Emma...her eyes look so big!

Chloe and Emma running

Maci working on her peach!

Maci picking her peach!

Chloe picking her a peach! She had so much fun doing this but couldn't understand why we didn't want her to pick everyone that she saw! We told her that she was 4 and could pick four peaches...I think she thought that meant all of the peaches off of four trees!

I'm cheating here!

Click on this link for some cute picts and videos of a recent trip we took! It's a link to a friends blog that has it all on there!

Some fun picts from the past few weeks

The loneliest place to be...

I have discovered that the loneliest place to be is is when one boxes themselves in from the fellowship that God has created for them. What does this mean? What does it look like? It's when one is walking thru a trial and chooses to shut the world out from supporting and helping them. It's when one chooses to lock themselves in the privacy of their pain and not allow themselves to weep. I've seen this time and time again. When it's family it is really hard to watch. I pray for those people, for their hearts to be softened, for Christ to heal them. I know from experience that beneath the hurt or disappointment, lies a fear...fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of failure, fear of something. Becoming who God created us to be includes those dark moments of sadness or guilt that we don't want ANYONE to know. Allowing ourselves to be honest, allows God to use those dark moments for HIS glory.
As one who is currently walking thru the fire of life changing events, I know that people are not sure how to help. As I heard from Charles Stanley, friends walk away from you during troubled times for the following reasons. 1.) They don't know what to say, they feel inadequate. 2.) They are judging 3.) They run from you, as they are afraid that your misfortune or hardship is going to rub off on them.
How sad is that? Sometimes not knowing what to say is okay. Just being physically present makes all of the difference. I would hope that the people who have walked away from Steve and I, have done so because they didn't know what to say and not for the other reasons. Christians, PLEASE uplift and encourage your fallen brothers and sisters. Pray for each other, and build up. I have been forever changed by the refining of the fire for God's glory. I must say thank you to the friends who have remained faithful thru it all. Your love and encouragement has meant the world to me, Steve and our girls.

Wind burn?

Have you ever gotten wind burned? It hurts! It amazes me that one can not see it coming, feel it coming, it just happens. Once wind burned, it takes time to over come. I am so thankful that God has provided protection for us from this. HE is our anchor, and if grounded in HIM, He protects us from the winds of life. The wind can show up in soft, subtle ways or in loud, obnoxious ways. However the enemy chooses to show up to burn you, you can be steadied by Christ. In this time of uncertainty and change, the wind is blowing constantly. I am so blessed to know that I am His and I don't have to be blown around by it any longer.

Yeah, it's got a microphone!

My new car arrived! So much fun! I haven't had a chance to really be able to play a lot in it as we have been extremely busy lately, but I did manage to figure out a few of the fun features! I have added a few picts of the car! Chloe loves the microphone, and could care less about actually knowing the words! I'm sure I will blog more about it as we are able to take more picts! For those who would consider buying one...we did actually fit 3 car seats in it! Tight, but we did it!

Changes are coming...

I am very excited to say that my new car is coming this week. We have sold our Honda and are ready for the new ride! I will be sure and post tons of picts online as soon as I get it! Along finding out that it will arrive in STL on Friday, yesterday we got an offer on our house. After a few (painful) minutes of calculating how much we will have to bring to the table to get out of our house...we worked out a deal. Please pray that the inspection and loan committment are in place by the end of the month with NO problems. If all goes well, I will posting our ideas of the next chapter in our lives.

Life changes

This is the hardest post I've written to date. I feel the need to do it as our lives have changed so much and our family and friends have been so loving and supportive. Steve went before the church this past Sunday and resigned. Steve confessed his sin before the church. Family members and friends, if this is the first time you are hearing this information, I am truly sorry. We have been dealing with this privately in counseling, until it was made public. Steve did NOT have a physical affair. God is renewing and restoring Steve daily. We need your prayers and support as we tread uncharted waters. If you are angry at Steve, please don't be. I have forgiven him and your grace to him will come thru your love for me. God is building up our marriage and we will serve Him thru this. Already 11 couples have shared that they too have walked this journey. We are standing in the gaps with them and together becoming much more transparent for God's glory. My posts will be fewer and farther between as we try to rebuild our lives. Please pray for our girls as they are experiencing new "adventures" as we are calling them. Pray that our house sells. Pray that the church can heal. Pray that God will provide Steve with a new job to provide for our family.

Summer Fun!

In an effort to not lose my mind with trying to keep the house picked up...we are trying to do at least one outing a day! Here is a few picts from our "water day" outing!

This last picture just makes me laugh so hard!

More info about my new car...

The car gets 27 - 31

MPG3.5L 4V V6 Duratec Engine

Automatic

Sport Blue Metallic Exterior

Sport Black Leather buckets

18" Aluminum Wheels

Chrome Grille

Decklid

Spoiler

Fog Lamps

Exhaust Tips,

Chromed Pipe in Pipe

Interior 8 way power dr seat w/lumbar

1 touch up and down window

AM/FM S

ingle CD/MP3,

6 spkr

Power windows and locks

Sirius Satellite Radio

Sync Voice Activated System

Functional4 WHL Disc Brakes w/abs

Power SteeringTraction Control

Tilt Telescope Wheel

Warranty 3 YR/36,000 Bumper/Bumper

5 YR/60,000 Powrtrain

5 YR/60,000 Roadside Assist

Safety Features Advance Trac ESC

Latch Child Safety

Perimeter AlarmSide Air Bags/Curtains

Securilock Pass Anti Theft

SOS Post Crash Alert System

Tire Pressure Moitor SYS

Power Moon RoofMoon and Tune Value Package

Sony Sound System 12 speaker

Reverse Sensing System

and comes with a IPOD Classic!

MOPS Book Blog tour book #2

Life on Planet Mom by Lisa T. Bergren

This was such a practical book! I know I will look at this again and again! I felt like I was having a Chai Latte with a friend as I read this book! So down to earth, Lisa is! The highlights for me (I literally highlighted these parts) were: 1.)realizing how stressed I am...I scored a 406...and anything above 150 puts me at risk of serious illness in the next few years...I'm stressed just thinking about that! Just kidding, it's been an eventful year...one I don't hope to repeat stress wise! 2.) The list of 12 ways parenting can draw you closer together...and how to go on dates and not just talk about kids! 3.) The game plan for how to manage relationships and stay in balance, and last but not least the staying connected to family thru the internet: facebook or blogging! As I read this book I thought about a friend of mine who just had a baby and the phone call she made to me last week...completely worn out and stressed. This is a book I am going to give her and encourage her to read! Mothering a newborn is just a short season, even though it feels as if it would last forever, just as mothering a 4 yr old feels impossible. This was a great read and I am excited for my MOPS friends to get this book so we can talk more about it!

Summer is here!!!

Summer is here and we are going to stay super busy! Our plans are as follows:

Mondays -Emma therapy appt in the morning, outdoor play in the afternoon, Chickfila for dinner!

Tuesdays -Toddler swim time at the Manchester pool, indoor play in the afternoon (craft day)

Wednesdays -Girls go to MDO and Mommy gets to run errands or catch up on house stuff

Thursdays -Free movie in the morning, outdoor play in the afternoon

Fridays -Emma therapy and family fun day

Other then that, we are watching the time fly by! Chloe is showing more and more personality and pays close attention to detail. (See the pict below) Chloe decided to try out a penny and swallowed it...that was a grose 3 days of checking the poop. Emma is now in therapy twice a week for help with Sensory Integration Disorder. She has gone three times now and has shown progress already! Very exciting! Maci is 9 months now! I am not sure how it happened, but she is! She shows NO interest in crawling or tummy time. She weighs 18 lbs 12 oz and is 28 inches long. She now has 4 teeth and is eating table food for the most part. She is the sweetest baby!

This is Chloe's pict of Steve....take note of the hair on the arms! LOL

For those of you who are wondering...NO I haven't gotten my car yet! Picts will be on here as soon as I do! Not too much going on in my world...diaper buying, money saving, picture taking, mess cleaning me! That about sums it up!